Henderson-Hughes Health Partners

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One Week Away

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We are one week away from the anniversary of adopting our 3 grandchildren, so I felt it was the perfect time to do a year in review. I wish that I could tell you everything has been sunshine and roses but that would just be a lie. There are times when there is more confusion than ever. The thought of  raising 3 more children was terrifying at times in spite of the fact that we were already doing just that. I have always said that I came into this journey thinking that the children would return to their parents and just how shocked I was when we were it but I was also sad. When it came to having my own children, I knew that I did not want to have more than 2 children. I gave birth to 3 daughters. My oldest Vanessa, is the mother of my 3 grandchildren. My middle daughter Venita, died at 1 month and 8 days old from SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). My youngest Regina, is my rock and has been a great help in our transitioning to our new normal. Our new normal though has began to look a lot like the past and Chris and I are having a hard time understanding just how to remove that past before it damages the present and future.

When Daniel and Deondre arrived in April 2014 there was so much work to do with them. We could not even understand what Daniel was saying most of the time. Deondre on the other hand did not do much talking at all. When he did speak Daniel felt like he should be his interpreter. It is comical now but then it was sad and at times very exhausting. Trinity came home in January 2015 and we had so much work to do with her regarding her health. So here we are 3 years after Daniel and Deondre, 2 years after Trinity and a week away from 1 year of adoption. There have been some highs and lows in the process but that happens in all families. We are currently dealing with quite a few lows as we approach our adoption anniversary. One of the biggest lows is that Daniel still tries to behave the way he did when he was with his parents. That behavior is putting a strain on the family. At times he acts out in school and even to the point of bullying another student.

This leads to another low where Chris and I after giving chance after chance finally did whoop Daniel. This whooping however resulted with Daniel getting a bruise without us knowing it. The very next day Daniel went to school as usual and was fine. At some point during his day at school however Daniel complained that his leg hurt to his teacher and she sent him to the nurse. During the visit with the nurse Daniel showed her his bruise that we knew nothing about and the nurse reported us to the police as alleged child abusers. Can you imagine coming home and finding 2 police officers at your door and you have no idea why? Only to find out that the school reported you as an abuser and your grandson/son never said anything. Now you have 2 officers looking at you like you are trash because you are presumed guilty before you say a word. There's nothing so surreal as having to ask if you could use your own bathroom in your own home. We never lied to the police or DCS when they arrived the following Monday. We did whoop Daniel however we had no idea that a bruise resulted in the whooping. Currently we are waiting for the final decision in this matter.

Our next low deals with the health of Deondre and Trinity. Deondre is developmentally delayed and we have been having a time getting people to even see him at time to get him the help he needs. He is also diagnosed with epilepsy. Trinity on the other hand was born premature and was diagnosed with a life threating skin problem. These two will always need someone to speak for them until hopefully and prayerfully they will be able to speak for themselves. That is definitely my job. In spite of the lows there are so many highs. Each day that I know where they are and they are healthy and happy my heart smiles. We are looking forward to celebrating our first anniversary with a the kids. Nothing worthwhile is easy and raising these 3 is definitely worthwhile❤.

Venus Henderson Hughes